FDR told us a long time ago, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Our fear and discomfort with uncertainty drive us to try to control things that can't really be controlled. This fruitless strategy doesn’t protect us, but it does put us in conflict with reality in a harmful way.
When we learn to apply ourselves to what we can control by investing in thoughtful preparation and then trust in the goodness of the nature of what cannot be controlled, we more fully open ourselves to receive that goodness than we do by fearfully slamming the door in its face.
And there is sound logic for trusting in the goodness of the nature we cannot control. After all, the nature we can control, our own, we know to embody a goodness it only makes sense to conclude is universal.
We also said a long time ago that it was a self-evident truth that all people are created equal. This means, among other things, that we recognize that within our hearts we all share an equally good essence that only tends to get distorted by the strategies aiming at an illegitimate control.
And we only pursue these distorting strategies out of a fear that leads us to act irrationally and in discord with our own nature. It’s not easy to learn to be comfortable with not being in charge, with uncertainty, with vulnerability, but the more we do, the more we learn that the ecological dynamics of life to which we all contribute equally enable us to embody goodness in a way that empowers us to live in happy and fulfilling relationship with each other and all life.
Cultivating clear eyes, and open mind, and a welcoming heart thus really does make a huge difference. One of the most effective ways to do this is by practicing constructive communication rooted in a confident appreciation of the goodness at the heart of every person we converse with no matter how many apparent conflicts we may share with them. In this way, mediation too can be transformative.
If a conflict is presently making you feel afraid, perhaps Family Tree Mediation can help you navigate it with the confidence and preparation capable of transforming a painful dynamic into a deeply meaningful one.
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Attorney-Mediator Hank Edson is responsible for the information provided in this video and caption, which is for educational purposes only under California law and does not create an attorney-client relationship or mediator-client relationship and does not constitute legal advice.
